Well the knives are well and truly out for Simon Cowell’s new T.V. offering, Food Glorious Food.
The show is taking a beating from arm-chair critics up and down the land, despite being fronted by the lovely Carol Vorderman the show only generated 2.4 million viewers, down 300,000 from week one.
Personally I have not seen the show, my feelings are that there are too many cooks on the telly already and I really don’t want anything on my plate served in a ‘jus’, gravy will do just fine, or I could put up with an old-fashioned sauce in an emergency.
Thanks to ‘cheffy’ people on the telly I now know how to ‘quinelle’ something, although my spellchecker doesn’t, haha, Microsoft ‘Word’ 0 Me 1, I may know how to, but guess what? I don’t want to; if I ever need to scoop something onto a plate I will just scoop it onto a plate, why mucky up another spoon when a finger will do just fine?
Also what the hell is ‘pan frying’ just what would you fry in if you didn’t have a pan? Maybe a shoe, or a hollowed out tortoise shell, Heston could sell that; bacon sarnie with the bacon fried off in an endangered organically reared tortoise shell, a couple of fried Platypus eggs and a generous helping of tomato ‘jus’ that’s ketchup to us mortals.
He would charge like a wounded Rhino for it and pretentious, overpaid bankers would fawn at his feet begging for seconds, just checking I correctly wrote bankers there.
Crushed potatoes is a good one, why on earth would anyone crush potatoes unless someone without the ability to cut their own spuds up was coming to dinner, or an American, if so just mash them with a bit of butter, don’t faff around with herbs, anchovies and other assorted rubbish.
Chefs generally just make me want to shout at the telly although I can tolerate Nigella oozing through half an hour of culinary tuition, I don’t however take much notice of what she is cooking funnily enough, can’t put my finger on why.
It is well documented that some household names in the cooking world are having their own financial problems, and if it can happen to them then who is immune?
Probably not you, however TaxGone knows that a Company Voluntary Arrangement could get you out of the fire without jumping straight into the tortoise shell!