No, it is definitely not April fool’s day although I did feel the need to check after reading about a plan in Leicester involving pom-poms and knitted items.
Police believe that if pom-poms and knitted articles are hung from trees and lampposts it will reduce people’s fear of crime. This has been backed up somewhat by a senior criminology lecturer who states that if you make an area ‘cosy’ it makes it feel safer.
Welcome to 21st century Great Britain, come aboard and knit a soft toy, your talisman against all that is bad in the world. I have a great idea, we should make prisoners knit soft toys and make pom-poms, maybe if they hang them up all over the prisons this would help prevent further re-offending upon release and it would also keep them occupied during the day leading to a calmer atmosphere in the gaols.
I, for one, would certainly feel safer walking through a dodgy park at night if I could see lots of cuddly toys and furry balls hanging from trees and lamp posts, on second thoughts…….no I wouldn’t.
What would make me feel safer is if I saw a Copper or two, on foot, with a torch, not safely tucked up in a car, I would also feel safer if the courts locked up criminals when the Police caught them and didn’t give allowances because they had a poor start in life.
Guess what Mr Criminal sometimes you have to stand up and decide for yourself not be a scrote. Some local residents have stated that the practice, known as ‘guerrilla knitting’ and ‘yarn bombing’ does not work and they still feel unsafe walking around certain areas in Leicester, so no surprise there then.
Some of you reading this will be feeling unsafe at the moment; you may have had a letter or visit from HMRC’s enforcement section because of unpaid VAT, PAYE or Corporation Tax.
If so you could ask your Granny to knit you a soft toy to hang in the foyer in the vain hope that the bailiff will be momentarily nonplussed and forget why he is there. You may as well pray for the fairy queen to help you, alternatively TaxGone knows that a Company Voluntary Arrangement could be your corporate talisman against the evil that is debt.